A few days ago while on my last trip, I had a 3 hour sit (a 3 hour block of spare time before my next flight) in Fort Myers. My dear friend Drea & her precious daughter picked me up from the airport to squeeze in a quickie lunch. It was awesome. Within minutes we were already cracking up over Drea’s driving & the weird noise her car makes. It was so refreshing to be with a friend & do something that felt like real life for a bit than sitting in the airport hiding from passengers (did I say that out loud? I don’t do that…). By the time I got back, I didn’t want to leave & had no interest in working the flight to Boston (of course I had to) – that’s the power of a good friend.
I typically don’t do friendship very well. There’s a multitude of reasons – I’m a shitty texter so I rarely do, I’m a huge bitch sometimes, and I’m BUSY. However, I feel like my biggest reason is this – the minute something pushes me to a breaking point, I’m quick to cut someone off. I feel like I need to mature & explain why they’re being cut off & why I’m ending the friendship but at the same time – I don’t care. I know I should do that for my own emotional growth but it’s like…people know what they do. I’m not hand holding a grown adult to friendship.
Once I became a flight attendant, these ideas changed. I have cultivated a strong circle of ladies (& a few gents) who I trust, who I love dearly, and who I will genuinely work hard for to maintain our friendships. I never thought I’d see the day. I think it’s because they understand our lifestyle & they have similar interests (heavy on the travel!) so they understand if I’m super busy one month because I’m working back to back trips and simply don’t have time for life.
My group is the epitome of “if they wanted to, they would” – an idea mentioned in my last post that became very important to me over the last year. I know we’re all busy, I just stated above that sometimes I simply don’t have time for life, but I used to have a friend who didn’t work. She lived about 25-30 minutes from me & I realized last year that it was a one sided friendship. I always went to her, always chose places convenient for her to eat at or if we got our nails done I went with a salon local to her instead of my own. I always made the drive up…to her. It’s not like it was FAR or anything & when you truly value someone’s presence in your life, you’ll go to them! Which was not a problem…until it hit me that every single time I invited her to come to me, it would never happen. I tried to make things easy – no spend days or movie nights at my house. I’d even have stuff available for her child (like snacks) if they came too. I’d get texts at 11 PM the night before saying she couldn’t do it or put in another excuse. Once or twice, I totally get but after a while of constant rejection & broken plans? I’m just gonna stop asking you to do anything at all. At that point it’s very apparent you have an issue with something you’re not telling me about. Ladies & gentlemen – IF👏🏼THEY👏🏼WANTED👏🏼TO👏🏼THEY👏🏼WOULD!! Don’t let the internet trick you into thinking it’s selfish to want time with your loved ones – it is if you expect it constantly because ,well, life, but if you’re pouring into a cup that’s overflowing and no one is helping yours replenish then there’s an issue there.
The year I moved to Florida I chose to part ways with my best friend at the time for totally different reasons. Some of you may remember her from my old blog posts (from Me, You, & Emma Lou the original version) or on social media. I may dive into that story another day but it’s been so long ago now that it almost feels irrelevant. After her I kinda felt a little lost – WHO is my friend now? WHO can I talk to? I was new to Florida and didn’t really know anyone so I was just floating around all lonely. It’s taken me some time but I got there. I can truly say that even if weeks or months go by, I feel at peace knowing they’re there. We’re all going to be scattered around the world…but we’re all here for the others. And when the time comes when we’re all camping out at the springs, on a layover together, on a girl’s trip, or even just having lunch on the beach you’d be hard pressed to believe any time at all has passed between us.
This was evidenced at our wedding. They all came & one was actually on a layover in Vegas and spent 2 nights with us! At the reception dinner one of my aunts had said “Autumn it’s so nice that all your flight attendant friends came to celebrate with you!” And I’m like “Yeah it is!” But later on it hit me a little deeper…OF COURSE THEY DID! I knew THEY would be there far before I expected ANYBODY else to! Those girls (& a few guys) are my family! I’m actually closer to them than my actual family to be honest. I even sat with THEM at dinner!
I just love them. Since the original start of this post I’ve got to be with Lindsey on a layover in Charlotte & I got to see Wendy for the first time since September in Austin! I can’t wait to see them all together again, aiming for next month. I’m attempting to plan a Galentine’s Day! I guess we’ll see what kind of planner I am but I am thinking of tacos and margs because there’s nothing better in the world!
I truly believe I’ve found my people in this crazy world & I’ll sign off with this…in the words of the Golden Girls (theme song) – Thank you for being a friend ♥️