Last year I finally had to reevaluate what people had access to in my life (says the girl who tells everything on the internet) – but no, it’s true. Last year I felt very unsupported by those closest to me & so I had to learn what was okay to be known by others and what I would just have to do on my own and keep for myself.
All of my life choices were under attack (that sounds dramatic yes?) – the home I wanted to buy? Transferring bases from MCO to DFW? My boyfriend? Buying a new car? Everything was met with zero support. Honestly, zero support doesn’t even begin to describe it. I have never felt so alone before & hell, I’ve been through a divorce. I didn’t even feel that alone THEN. I have went over this particular blog post at least 5x and have changed my mind that many times about what I post. I want to express how hurt & upset I was but I don’t want it to come off as attacking or airing dirty laundry especially since this post ends on such a happy note. I will not out the individuals who expressed their unwanted concern but I will say one thing – of all the people in this grand world we live in that a person could possibly want to worry about, I am the last one I could ever imagine! Start at home first. I got it really goin’ on for myself & I will forever toot my own horn. I’m good love, thanks.
So with that being said – I didn’t buy the house because Clinton got hurt & I didn’t want additional distractions. I didn’t transfer to DFW because MCO reached peak flight attendant capacity & closed the base to transfers meaning that if I decided to go to Dallas and HATED it? I’d be stuck there because Orlando no longer had room for me. I chose Florida and I will always choose Florida. I didn’t buy a new car because ,while I had some major car trouble, turns out? My lovely Sonnie the Sonata fell into a batch of cars that were eligible for a recall. God looked out for me & so did Deland Hyundai when they put a new engine in…free of charge. And as for my boyfriend? You have a man who worships the ground you walk on THEN come talk to me honey. By the end of the year, I was over it. It was ,very simply put, – time for me to go.
Moving to Orlando (MCO) was the easiest decision I’ve been faced with in a long time. I mean, I wanted it to be a suburb of Orlando but somehow we ended up in the heart of the city and I shockingly love it. I looked during every free moment for homes, apartments, condos, etc but couldn’t find anything that made my heart skip so Clinton called Kristen to help me since she is in real estate. Once again, she pulled through! She drove up & presented me with about 12 options that we hit up in one day. With Clinton on FaceTime for the ones that we liked, he and I narrowed it down to two. We actually preferred one more than the other but sadly they rented their last unit before I could weasel my way in. So, we now live in our 2nd choice & that’s fine by us – he had went to Texas for about 4 months with his dad to continue his healing after all the hospitalizations were complete & so we missed each other bad – and although, I went to Texas for days (upwards of weeks, sometimes, if I bid my schedules to have long blocks of off days) it wasn’t the same. So on my last trip to Texas, we sat up filling out applications for our unit and getting things set up. January 7th? I moved in. He came about 2 weeks later after wrapping up some therapies and doctor’s appointments. I never told a soul that I deemed unnecessary to know, I moved myself in all on my own (as Clinton was still in Texas), and to this day? No one knows our address. It has been the most peaceful transition I have ever made. I needed this. I needed the alone time (Clinton is here, yes, but that’s different) – I function so much better on my own. I try not to judge but being in my 30s and still living with family just made me feel like such a loser even if it WAS only for a year. I also needed being close to work – Daytona Beach is about an hour and a half from the airport I work out of…imagine making that drive when you have a 5 AM show time. That would put me leaving Daytona at 2:30 AM because I ALWAYS get to work an hour early (early is on time, on time is late, and late is a NO!) and me waking up at 1:30 AM. Back that up with saying I might not be in a hotel room on a trip until 5 PM? I would be EXHAUSTED. And sadly, that’s not even a hypothetical situation – I have done those exact hours before! Anyways, I now live 20 minutes from the airport. I drive every day past Volcano Bay & Universal Studios…there’s a red light that is on a road that runs behind Universal and one day I was stopped there & looked over and saw the Hogwarts Express & that’s when my heart skipped a little…I live in a beautiful, fun city. One that I feel safe in & one that I feel happy in. One where you see Mickey Mouse far more than normal and THAT my friends, makes me happy! I’ve been just a tiny bit bummed because this was the year that I wanted to buy Disney annual passes but then Covid hit and Disney’s been closed so we haven’t got to take advantage of a lot of the wonderful things Orlando has to offer us but we have plenty of time!
I have not worked since April 5th but I officially return on July 1st & I cannot wait to be back on the APM in the airport listening to those classic words “This is Orlando mayor, Buddy Dyer…” – I am a little anxious but am so ready. The world has been crazy lately hasn’t it?! But I like the idea of returning to work & feeling some normalcy!
As for home life, me, Clinton, Emma during her custody visits with us (she still goes to my dad every 2 weeks per my made-up custody arrangement with him as I could never take her from him, they love each other too much), and Nagini (our snake we got together in 2018) are welcoming visitors & friends. We are happy, healthy, & together in our little luxury apartment in the sky aka the 3rd floor.
– Autumn (& Clinton, Emma, & Nagini)