I have found the bain of my existence. 

It is wedding planning.

I loathe every bit of it. 

My visions of Elvis and the pink Cadillac fade more every day as I work on choosing bridesmaid dresses (spoiler alert – I decided to just let them wear whatever the hell they want because apparently it’s old school to make your bridesmaids match, duly noted. I’m old.) I cannot find a dress that I deem suitable to get married in. I have a complex with this whole situation – I am a 34 year old woman getting married for the second time. I don’t want white. I don’t want “bridal” – I want sophisticated & classy if I’m doing this as a “real” wedding. If this was a Little White Chapel kinda thing, I’d go even campier. These bridal shops want to treat you like you’re a princess marrying her prince and perhaps I’m too “serious” for that…I don’t want to be a princess. I found the most perfect dress on TikTok at a shop outside of Salt Lake City – I called & the employee was so lovely. The dress was way out of my budget, sadly. That was my “one that got away” but at $3,000…I couldn’t do it.

Against all my better judgement, I went to a David’s Bridal. KNOWING I prefer independent bridal shops. However, it was a spur of the moment thing (I was there to go to Target & DB happened to be there too) & I almost bought a dress. Like, I was there at the register about to hand over my credit card for a $1300 dress that I will never wear again in my life when I realized “I can’t do this” and bolted out of the store. It’s the principle of it for me – I would have to wear that dress every day of the rest of my life, be buried in it, stripped down at the end of my funeral, and have it given to a niece or something before I can see spending that much money on a dress that will live it’s life in my closet. The sales ladies were very lovely but they turned an impromptu trip to look into a whole “thing” & quite frankly, I was embarrassed. When I agreed to buying that dress, I had to partake in “the ceremony” – where I had to close my eyes, hold a bell, & make a wish for my marriage. Then I rang the bell and everyone clapped. Cute. Then I had photos taken that I’ve since deleted of me holding a heart that said “I said YES to the dress!”

Come now. Do I sound like this is something that was a good time for me? I’ve since been shopping at Neiman Marcus, Saks, and Bloomingdale’s for a dress I feel would be more appropriate to my taste & budget. No offense to David’s Bridal but going to Men’s Wearhouse with Clinton for him & the groomsmen was far more fun for me. They don’t infantilize men. They don’t treat you like a love sick puppy in men’s stores. I envy them. 

I am also struggling with a reception dinner site in Vegas. I just can’t decide what to feed people. Every time I start thinking of sitting down and really planning things out I just get really overwhelmed and decide I don’t want to do this right now and move onto literally anything else. I’m going on vacation with my best friend at the end of the month and all I want to do is focus on that…THAT is what I consider fun & what I enjoy planning & spending my money on. I’m just straight up not having a good time with this. 

Help,

Autumn