A few days ago I added a flight attendant to Facebook & she saw Emma’s birthday photoshoot – the first thing she said was “wow you sure can tell you don’t have kids”

My response was “umm…your point being?”

————————————

I do not want children. I have never wanted children actually. The first time I realized this, I was only 8 years old. It’s such a random and bizarre moment that I recall but I was at my babysitter’s house and she had the news on and they were covering a story about how the Mayans were predicting the world to end in 2012…I quickly did the math to see that I would be 25 years old and I distinctly remember my first thought being of relief that I’d be young enough that I wouldn’t “have” to have kids. Seriously. Not that the world would maybe end and we’d all die but simply “well thank heavens I’ll be young enough when we peace out that maaaaaybe I won’t even have to consider children” I was an 8 year old little weirdo.

I’m a 34, nearly 35, year old little weirdo now…one who still does not want children. I had a brief lapse in judgement while Clinton was recovering from his accident and we were so madly in love and high on life (and high on the fact that life had not been taken from us) that I thought to myself (and one day drunkenly to Karren) “well that could be kinda fun! A baby with the love of your life! I like it…Picasso!” then I remembered my ~now fiancé~ has had a vasectomy and I genuinely do not enjoy children…nor does he. So I came to my senses pretty quickly. A near death experience is not a good reason to have a child folks – 0/10 stars.

2012 rolled around & obviously we’re still on the floating space rock but at this point time has evolved enough to where a good portion of the world doesn’t give a shit if you have kids or not so being child free has been the lifestyle I’d chosen to have. It truly baffles the remainder of people & angers them to a degree, I think. That a woman could be content & happy in her own life without a child. I can guarandamntee you if I had a kid I’d be miserable. I will not make myself miserable to satisfy someone else.

But yeah, it truly baffles people…not long ago I had downloaded this app to use on my Instagram called “NGL” where people can say anonymous things to you or ask anonymous questions. I got one that said “Is there a particular reason you don’t want children?” – at first I thought it was an interesting question but then I just thought “Wow. I’m really out here living life & y’all care about why I don’t want kids? How boring are you?” – I answered it honestly. I love my life & I’d love it less if I had to raise children. I believe I also made a remark about my own childhood as well so feel free to self diagnose me, I don’t think I care. That’s basically what this blog is anyways.

One of my aunts has taken to saying shitty remarks to my mom about being a grandma – things like “The things we do for our grandchildren right Diane? Oh that’s right! You don’t have any” – um, ‘scuse me? My mom and dad would make excellent grandparents (honestly I questioned my dad but seeing him with Emma, yes he’d be a wonderful PawPaw to a child) but being a parent/grandparent does not make you superior to someone who isn’t. Some of y’all need to be checked. A few weeks ago I was flying with my friend Megan & we were talking about how we are literally the anti-bride type of gal – she said something very interesting to me – her mom & dad were never the parents who asked if she had boyfriends or crushes or made the little remarks like “oh is that your boyfriiiiiend?” in the goofy little sing song voice. They didn’t push relationships or marriage & now, she just doesn’t have that ,like, bridal quality. Mine didn’t do that to me either. And I think that same type of mentality can be applied to children. Neither of my parents have ever said something to me about having children – never. They have said things about going to college, getting jobs, learning languages (dear God, my dad still rags me about this), even changing airlines & working for one of the “Big 4”! But they have never once asked me “when are you giving me a grandchild?” And I thank them for that. Even my MawMaw Rose! When I was a little girl, she’d gift me books – all the time. I loved ,and still love, to read. She would always inscribe a message on the inside front cover of everyone of them “go be that doctor I know you can be!” or “become that veterinarian you want to be!” Not saying doctors or vets can’t be mothers (because duh, obviously) but even MawMaw, coming from her generation, never said anything. I wonder what she’d inscribe in books to my cousins…I wish I would’ve kept all mine. Okay, I’m getting off subject here.

Ah well. Can you believe it’s 2022 & I still felt the need to explain myself & my life choices? I actually wasn’t going to discuss it on here because why? You either get it or you don’t. You either know me or you don’t. No one asked for it but that’s the beauty of a dot com that I pay for. I can discuss anything I wish.

Wow, you sure can tell I don’t have kids.

– Autumn

*Cover photo came from a Google search