I just got back from a 3 day trip that fell exactly one week before our wedding. Let’s explore what’s been going on the last little bit and play catch up first…

About 2 weeks ago on a 2 day trip I’d picked up, I got sick and lost my voice. I lost it for about 3 days and every day I started to feel better, I’d cough all night and reset my progress. Urgent Care told me I’d waited too long to come in & that by that time I was at the end of it so they only gave me something to alleviate the coughing but told me they believed I’d had an upper respiratory infection/chest infection. It was a frickin’ blast 🙄

I ended up having to drop a trip because of my voice being out (imagine possibly having to shout emergency evacuation commands to passengers when you can’t even speak) & once I’d started to feel better, BAM! random stomach bug or food poisoning or demon possession in the middle of the night. I still a little shaky on Thanksgiving but managed to have a great time at dinner in Lakeland this year with Clinton’s family.

I left for my 3 day the next day – day 1 was a very simple one leg to LaGuardia. I chased on this trip which means I was not part of a set crew – I flew solo, literally. My crew from that day was going on to Miami while I would be laying over in New York. I love a New York layover if they’re long enough to go into Manhattan (however, I hate working New York or Newark flights…If you know, you know) but this night I only had 12.5 hours so it was enough time for me to eat, shower, and sleep. I didn’t pack any food with me on this trip because of my stomach issues & my laziness so I decided to just change clothes once I got to the hotel and walk to the Dollar Twenty Five Tree down the street and just grab a few things to have in my bag. Yes folks, the glamorous life of a flight attendant – buying cans of Chef Boyardee & some Sour Patch Kids at a Queens Dollar Tree. In an odd way it was nice though. Our hotel we stay at for LaGuardia layovers is really nice & is set up like suites so it feels like a mini apartment. Carrying my paper sacks of shit back to the hotel in the blustery cold weather made me feel like a local which is all I ever want when I’m in New York. I went back to my room, ate canned ravioli from a paper cup, & watched “Home Alone” from the living room part of the suite. I had the lights dimmed & my curtains pulled open because I could see just a tiny bit of Manhattan in the distance. It was nice. I got to feel like I lived there for just a tiny bit.

Soon it was time for a hot shower & an early bedtime because I had to be up at 3 AM the next morning for a 4 AM van to the airport. I couldn’t sleep for shit that night – my anxiety is at an all time high & the only thing that is going to make it go away is everyone making their non-rev flights to & from Vegas, our guest count being more manageable that it currently is, winning $50,000 in Vegas on a penny slot, and our reception dinner food being better than what I’m afraid it may be. I tossed, turned, sweat, and panicked my way through a couple hours of sleep until it was time to get up.

Thank God day 2 was just as easy as day 1 of this trip – easier, actually. We only had one flight again, it was to Myrtle Beach, & it was mostly turbulent so the Captain had us sit most of the -already short- flight. Not to mention we’d be done at 7 AM with a 23.5 hour layover & I could take my happy ass back to bed for a few hours. OH! AAAAND I was flying with one of my class mates this day! AND he invited me to his mother’s house who lives in Myrtle Beach for a late Thanksgiving dinner! All 4 of us went (the 3 crew + me) and we had the best time! Before that came a 2 hour nap though…It was needed. We left for Scott’s mom’s at 1:45 & had wine & appetizers. His mother , Carol, is amazing. She’s 88 years young, cooked us a full meal of turkey, stuffing, gravy, potatoes, butternut squash, corn pudding, applesauce bread, & pumpkin pie! She’s also a world traveler with no plans of stopping! We talked about everything. We talked about how I had the most fun ever at Oktoberfest in Munich while Momma Carol said she was disgusted. We talked about her bucket list destination was Antarctica & how she believes she could still possibly make it happen as long as someone could help her while on the boats she’d be traveling on…I volunteered. I want to be a Carol when I grow up. I so enjoyed my night with Momma Carol & the crew! One of my most enjoyable layover experiences so far because honestly, it felt like being home with family. We helped Momma Carol clean up & it was time to go back to the hotel to rest up. For some reason the airline split us up so I was in a different hotel than the other 3 so they dropped me off first.

I got some decent rest & was up at 5 AM the next morning (yesterday) for my 2 leg day. This day was go-home day so I was , of course, ready. We were flying back up to LaGuardia for the first flight & down to Orlando for the 2nd flight. I was flying with an Atlantic City based crew & I actually knew one of them (Linda, my lead FA in this crew) We had a great day but it was one of those days where it felt like if it was possible that it could happen…then it was going to happen to us!! I found out later that that’s pretty much the standard for Linda. I loved this crew though! We laughed so much. At one point I was in tears! 

When we made it to Orlando, I was obviously back in base & going home & they were going to their layover hotel. We were taxiing in & Linda was making her “Welcome to…” announcement & ,well, this is how it went…

“Ladies & gentlemen welcome to Orlando!! Wasn’t that a great landing?! *claps* Ladies & gentlemen I have another announcement to make…we have a flight attendant up front that’s getting MARRIED!! Yes, Flight Attendant D up here…SHE’S DOING IT AGAIN FOR THE SECOND TIME!!! She’s gooooin’ to the chapel & she’s goooonnnna get maAaAriiied…okay fine nobody wants to sing with me, OH!! And the overhead bin that has her luggage in it is jammed & she can’t get it open! Oh my goodness she’s 6 shades of red up here ladies & gentlemen!!! Congratulate her when you exit the aircraft would ya?! ANYWAYS, please remain seated with your seatbelts fastened….”

When she was done with whatever the hell THAT was I muttered -very quietly of course- under my breath –

“Linda what the actual fuck was that?!”

“Girl I don’t know once I started it just all started flowing out of me!” was her response.

“We have pre-written announcements for this exact reason!!!” I said

We had row 1 absolutely dyyyyying with us because they could see my reaction firsthand. I was absolutely mortified at first but honestly it’s fine…ya gotta laugh at yourself!!

We laughed the whole way off the plane about that crazy announcement until we finally had to separate for me to go to the employee parking lot & they went to hotel shuttle pickup.

Linda actually has a Vegas layover on the 3rd (wedding day) so she said she’d stop by & give a speech since she’s obviously very good at it. I told her maybe during this one she can tell everyone my weight & social security number.

– Autumn